You lost yourself, now what?
I had an epiphany between making myself dinner and the thread of thoughts I was in. It’s about the saying “losing yourself”. Most times when people mention being lost its usually with a negative connotation — as in I lost myself and I’m not sure who I am anymore. I think this is linked to nostalgia which is why it feels like this bad thing especially in therapy settings.
When you’re talking about losing yourself, you are referencing a version of you that you are fond of BUT what if you lose yourself?!!
Hear me out, what if you allow yourself (your old self) to be lost? While thinking about this (and making dinner), I realized that’s what we are called to do anyway (as Christians).
You need to lose your old self for the new self. Let’s use the metamorphosis analogy — when a chrysalis becomes a butterfly, the butterfly is not thinking of going back to become a chrysalis or a caterpillar. Obviously, we have and hold memories as humans but it can be a shackle sometimes.
It is ok to lose yourself, don’t think about finding the version of you that is lost and most likely had to be lost.
I also want to address the fear that is linked to “losing yourself” because it is real. You feel like you don’t know who you’re becoming, you’re not sure you’ll like the person you’ll become, you are already somewhat comfortable with who you are so you are worried and anxious about a “new “ version of yourself.
First of all, take a very deep breath. I want you to find encouragement in knowing that God will ALWAYS find you. He’s more interested in who you are than you think you are about yourself. This is not about living without caution but it’s about being frozen and paralyzed in the version of you that needs to take its exit. God will find you if you are truly lost.
So dear reader, if you feel like you are losing yourself, LET YOURSELF BE LOST and FIND GOODNESS in the version of you that is emerging.
I thought of a song while writing this entry.
in newness,
gbems xx
“I’m an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.You know when I leave and when I get back; I’m never out of your sight.You know everything I’m going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you’re there, then up ahead and you’re there, too — your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful — I can’t take it all in!
Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight? If I climb to the sky, you’re there! If I go underground, you’re there! If I flew on morning’s wings to the far western horizon, You’d find me in a minute — you’re already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I’m immersed in the light!” It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.” ~ Psalm 139: 1-12
“Anyone who is joined to Christ is a new being; the old is gone, the new has come.” ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17 GNT
